Shattered dreams


When I was in school I dreamed of the day I was done and could finally stop using food banks and worrying about making rent. I was so excited to buy new clothes when I needed them and go out with friends and buy dinner for my partner. I was going to donate money to animal rescues and buy a house so I could start fostering dogs again. I had big plans.

Now I’m out. I have a job that will pay quite well when I start in two weeks. And I’m scrambling to find more freelance work I can do on the side.

The reality is, saving for retirement, stocking up an emergency fund and saving for a house will eat up most of my pay cheques. Then I’ll have to buy all the things around my home I’ve been needing, like a new tap for the toilet and sprayer for the kitchen sink. And once those things are paid off something else will break. And something else. And the cat will have another outrageous vet bill. And then my partner will go back to school and I’ll be picking up the slack.

It’s fine. We’ll be comfortable compared to how I’ve been living for the past six years, but I wish I had been more realistic with myself while in school. You’re not going to land a high-paying job right out of school. It’ll be a slow growth.

Eventually I’ll have the experience to be paid enough to save a few dogs and buy new, fair trade clothes. But until then I’ll just be thankful I’m done school and can keep the fridge stocked.

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