Keeping track of anxiety


Along with three sobriety apps, I downloaded SAM on New Year’s Day. It has tools for dealing with anxiety and a chat room, and encourages users to track their anxiety.


The past couple of weeks of tracking my feelings has been something and I learned a few things.

  1. I still don’t have a clear idea of what being anxiety-free feels like, which makes rating my feelings difficult. On the lower days above, I had a small knot in my chest and the higher days I was on the verge of a panic attack, but wasn’t actually having one. On this scale, I’m not sure how I’d ever get too high up there as rating my feelings on this app during a panic attack isn’t something I’d always be capable of doing. Although, I’m sure that could help me feel better.
  2. My levels of anxiety start going up after I check my phone in the morning. I usually stay in bed for 10 minutes or so, cuddling my cats and enjoying the quiet. Then, I pick up my phone to see what I missed overnight. I get overwhelmed by all the messages that need to be answered and work that needs to be done, and then I input how I’m feeling and shit’s already gone downhill.
  3. I’m really fucking stressed out about money. I’ve been scraping by the past two months, but for January rent I was actually transferring $0.17 from here, $1.24 from there, to get enough together. Even on my happiest days, my financial situation is always on the back of my mind.
  4. People doing shitty things deeply impacts me. I’m not so sensitive as I was when I first started dealing with my anxiety, but I spend far too much time wondering if I could have done something different to save a friendship with someone or if I should have been more assertive when someone was being rude to me.

In general, I’ve been doing a lot better. That doesn’t mean a hell of a lot in the long run, though. I could crash tomorrow and be back to working in bed. Tracking my anxiety is probably going to prepare me for when I’m back to freaking the fuck out on a daily basis.

4 thoughts on “Keeping track of anxiety

  1. Luke Michelson

    I’m sure everybody’s different, but, I’ve been doing something which might seem counter intuitive to some, although, I’ve found it’s really helped me to be productive with my mornings. I haven’t even been checking my emails until I’ve prioritized (or accomplished) my most important morning objectives. It’s forced me to think about what’s most important before entering the land of small squabbles (of which there are many). I figure if there’s some serious issue early on, people can call. So far, that hasn’t nipped me, but, we’ll see. All I know is that my mornings are less filled with baseline email stress and more filled with action. Take that for what it’s worth… (a small tip from a generally unstressed IT guy) – Luke

    • I’ve been holding off on checking emails until I’ve had some relaxing and nice morning times, and that’s been helping. The leader of my new group therapy gave me a thumbs up for this one, but, don’t worry, I passed the credit onto you 😉 Thanks Luke!

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