Cockroach zine is my baby.

The environmentalist/feminist publication was started by me last October and continues to be run soley by me.

I find contributors, edit, do layout, run the social media sites, plan events, find advertisers, take the zine to craft sales…. I do everything.

And I’ve realized, that maybe I shouldn’t.

As much as I want to have full control, I also want it to look as good as possible. I want the events to be a huge hit. I want it to grow. And I also want to keep my part-time job, volunteer positions and continue freelancing.

This weekend I found a graphic designer to take over the layout. While it’s good to know I can do those things if he becomes unable, it’s sort of a relief knowing that someone more capable will be making sure the music issue is looking it’s best. But it also kills me a little inside to lose that control.

At the same time, it will give the zine more exposure as he tells his friends about this project he is working on. It will send some money out into the local economy. And it will free me up for networking.

As I get the files ready to send to my new “layout guy” as I will call him, I’m apprehensive. But also excited to see what the next issue will end up looking like. And hoping I don’t get so into outsourcing I start paying the neighbour kid to scoop my cats’ litter boxes.


Doing the impossible


When I was a little girl I wanted to be a writer.

As I grew older, that dream became a little more specific.

Two years into university I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to have my work published by feminist magazines such as Bitch, BUST and Herizons. I wanted to start my own feminist magazine for Canadians in their early 20s.

Now, there’s less than two weeks before I am finished classes in the Creative Communications program at Red River College majoring in journalism. I do enough freelance writing that I feel comfortable calling myself a journalist. I’ve had an article published in Herizons. Just today I pitched an article to Bitch and have one to pitch to BUST soon. Almost a year ago I started working on Cockroach zine, a feminist/environmentalist publication for Winnipeggers in their early 20s.

And I’ve realized that though I haven’t accomplished exactly what I wanted, I’m so close it doesn’t really matter. I feel like I’ve done what I set out to do. I reached my “big” goals.

So what now?

Those goals I’ve reached, I once thought were unattainable. I didn’t believe I would ever be here. But I am.

Right now, my goal is to finish my classwork, find a job and keep freelancing so my partner and I can be a little more financially stable. Over the summer I’m going to start dreaming big. I’m going to come up with the most outrageous goals that I’ll probably never reach.

I can promise you one thing, it’ll probably have to do with Cockroach zine.

And maybe in two years, I’ll be right back in this position, looking to set more unattainable goals.